God designed & created marriage as a good thing. He uses marriage 2 help us eliminate loneliness, multiply our effectiveness, establish families, enjoy life, & bless us w/ relational intimacy. But beyond this, marriage shows us our need 2 grow & deal w/ our own issues & self-centeredness thru the help of a lifelong partner. If we are teachable, we will learn 2 do the one thing that is most important in marriage-love.
Ephesians 4:2, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
Love will inspire you to become a patient person. When you choose to be patient, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation. You are slow to anger. Rather than being restless and demanding, love helps you settle down and begin extending mercy.
If your spouse offends you, do you quickly retaliate, or do you stay under control? Do you find that anger is your emotional default when treated unfairly? If so, you are spreading poison rather than medicine.
Patience makes us wise. It doesn’t rush to judgement but listens to what the other person is saying. Patience stands in the doorway where anger is clawing to burst in, but waits to see the whole picture before passing judgement. Proverbs 14:29 says, “He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly.”
As sure as a lack of patience will turn your home into a war zone, the practice of patience will foster peace and quite. Patience is where love meets wisdom. And EVERY marriage needs that combination to stay healthy!
Patience helps you give your spouse permission to be human. It understands that everyone fails. It gives you the ability to hold on during rough times in your relationship rather than bailing out under the pressure.
But can your spouse count on having a patient wife or husband to deal with? Can she know that locking her keys in the car will be met by your understanding rather than a demeaning lecture that makes her feel like a child? Can he know that cheering during the last seconds of a football game won’t invite a loud-mouthed laundry list of ways he should be spending his time?
What would the tone and volume in your home be like if you tried this biblical approach: “See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another” (1 Thess. 5:15).
Few of us do patience well, and none of us do it naturally. But wise men and women will pursue it as an essential ingredient to their marriage relationships. That’s a good starting place to demonstrate true love.
DARE: Although love is communicated in different ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next few days, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It’s better to hold your tongue than to say something you’ll regret.
Please comment! Did anything happen to cause anger toward your mate? Were you tempted to think disapproving thoughts and to let them come out in words? Share your experience…
-Taken from the book, “The Love Dare” written by Stephen and Alex Kendrick- 2008